


All Fools Day

by Leticheecopae



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Pranks and Practical Jokes, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 03:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8562901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leticheecopae/pseuds/Leticheecopae
Summary: April Fools was one of Jane's favorite holidays back when she was a child, and when she finds that there is no equivalent in the new world she and her friends have created she decides it best to start the new holiday off with a bang. Three bangs to be precise.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A fun commission I got over on my tumblr. I had a lot of fun creating these pranks and I hope you enjoy reading them!

It’s almost three in the morning and Jane isn’t even close to being done. Roxy’s hidden computer room is filled with reams of plastic wrap, building supplies, and enough sugary sweets to make even the biggest sweet tooth ache.

 

“Must you really do this?” Calliope asks from the doorframe, her eyes on all the pieces scattered about on the floor.

 

“It’s tradition,” Jane replies as she tightens a few bolts into place. There is wall paneling up against the side of one of the walls, ready to be placed over her contraption and hide it from sight. It had been so hard to find the same shade of periwinkle pink that Roxy had painted the room in. 

 

“It’s tradition to prank one another?”

 

“Uh-huh.” Jane checks at the amount of sprinkles in her bucket. “I’ve been pranking everyone since I can remember. I used to only be able to do it through e-mails or presents. Dirk once taught me how to do a timer on a gift so it would go off in April. He regretted that lesson.” 

 

“So that’s why you asked about Roxy’s favorite spot?”

 

“Yes, because while I know of most of the others I knew you would be the only one to know of her _most_ favorite spot.”

 

“I see...Do any of the other humans do this as well?”

 

“Yes. John is doing a similar thing to his friends, though I doubt they’ll be quite as good as mine. No one shall escape!” Jane punctuates the statement by pointing a spatula up in the air, the end covered in caramel. She turns to find Calliope staring at her with a somewhat frightened look.

 

“Oh…” She quickly drops her arm. “I’m sorry, that came out sounding much more ominous than I meant it to be. I promise, all of these are harmless. The worst that will happen is you will have to get in the tub with Roxy and help scrub her clean.”

 

Calliope’s cheek blush a vibrant green. “I guess that’s not so bad then.”

 

Jane gives her a wide grin. “See, I told you that pranks weren’t all bad.”

 

“You said they aren’t bad at all, though.”

 

Jane pauses. “Well, they’re not all bad for the pranker. I’m sure there is some amount of mild distress at the beginning of the prank, but I don’t enjoy doing pranks that will harm anyone.”

 

“So that’s why you’re using sugar?”

 

“For Roxy at least,” Jane replies as she goes over to one of the walls and starts pushing things into place. “Dirk and Jake will be getting their own pranks.”

 

“Alright. Well…” Calliope stands fidgeting in the doorway.

 

Jane pauses in her assembly. “Is there something wrong, Calliope?”

 

“Oh, well, it’s just that…” she trails off again.

 

“If this really bothers you I can, of course, pack it all up. I won’t do this if you think Roxy will be angry.”

 

“Oh, it’s not that!” Calliope shakes her head furiously. “If this is a tradition I’m sure she’ll be fine with it. She never said I couldn’t or shouldn’t tell you about this place, I was just wondering if maybe, if it was alright, you could possibly prank me too?” She looks up at Jane hopefully.

 

“Really?”

 

Calliope nods. “I would like to join in if that’s alright.”

 

Jane puts down the wood she is holding, takes a few large strides over to Calliope, and hugs her. “Of course, Calli. April Fools day is for everyone.”

 

“What’s an April?”

 

Jane pauses. “Oh. Well, I guess we’ll just name tomorrow ‘All Fools Day’. I forgot we did away with that month.” She gives Calliope another smile. “Now, why don’t you head off to bed. I’ve got to finish this up and come up with a prank for you now too!” Jane gives her a wink and one more hug.

 

“Alright, good night, Jane.” Calliope watches for a few moments longer as Jane goes back to work but soon Jane hears her shuffling away. She smiles to herself, looks at the work still to be done, and gives a little sigh. “Looks like Calliope’s will have to be something small this year,” she murmurs. “This is going to take until daybreak if the boy’s pranks were any indication. At least I didn’t have to wait for them to fall asleep to set them.”

 

Jane picks up some peelable adhesive and begins to mount the last few things needed to get her plan into place. She’s still not sure how she’s going to get all the wall panels in place. 

 

Maybe she shouldn’t have sent Calliope to bed.

 

\--------

 

Jake wakes up to his messenger app blinking. Picking up the phone, he taps it to find that Jane has sent him a message.

 

 _Happy All Fools Day!_ it reads. Jake's heart jumps into his throat.

 

“Diiiiiirk,” he calls as he jumps out of bed and throws on a pair of shorts and a shirt. He’s still tugging the fabric down over his head as he speed walks towards Dirk’s space in their home. “Dirk!”

 

He swings around a corner and finds Dirk sneaking up the hallway.

 

“Is she really doing-” Jake starts

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Have you found any-”

 

“Not yet.”

 

“We don’t even have an April!”

 

Dirk shrugs and he seems to relax a bit. “Nothing got you on the way down the hall?”

 

Jake shakes his head.

 

“She hasn’t given you anything recently, has she?” Dirk looks at Jake’s pockets like they might suddenly explode.

 

“Nothing. Last thing she gave me was a cake and unless she’s learned how to time activate those I believe I’m fine.”

 

Dirk nods. 

 

“What do we do now?”

 

“Safe room,” Dirk replies as he starts to head past Jake. 

 

Jake brightens up. “Oh, that’s a great idea!” He takes a few steps after Dirk. A hand quickly stops him.

 

“Our _own_ saferooms.” 

 

Jake feels his heart drop a little, but he nods. “Right. Makes sense. No reason for her to get both of us.”

 

Dirk shifts his hand to Jake’s shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “I’ll treat you to dinner after this blows over.”

 

Jake can’t help but smile at that before Dirk heads down the hall, alternating between flash stepping and inching around corners.

 

“Alright then,” Jake says as he stands up straight and turns in the other direction. “To the theater!”

 

The entire trek down to Jake’s private home theater, the one that has only one large comfy couch to share with Dirk on lazy nights, is more nerve-wracking than his time against the Felt. Every turn makes his heart jump into his throat as he waits for some trap to ensnare him. 

 

Nothing happens.

 

By the time he gets to the theater he wonders if Jane is using the text as a prank to put them all on edge.

 

“Now that would be a trick,” Jake murmurs. “Leave us all on the tip of our toes while waiting for the world to slam down on our skulls only for nothing to happen. That would be her best trick yet.” He smiles to himself at that because even if they are pranks, the tricks have never been mean spirited and are usually somewhat fun for the ‘victim’. 

 

The glitter bomb had been a nightmare to clean, but she had made sure it was all sparkling blues and greens and his room had felt like something straight out of Avatar with all the shimmering colors. The year before that she had sent him scratch and sniff stickers of fruit only for the stickers to smell like somewhat awful or odd things, like motor oil or black licorice. His favorite one had to be the joke jelly-beans. Some of them had been delicious while others had tasted so foul he almost puked. It had turned into a game for himself afterward as he tried to figure out if he was going to get something sweet or disgusting with each bite.

 

Jake flicks on the lights to the theater and blanches. 

 

“W-what in the world?” 

 

Everything is upside down. The couch is on the ceiling, the projector is on the floor, and somehow the ever-full snack containers are still shut tight despite them being upside down.

 

“How,” he asks out loud and takes a few steps forward, eyes on the ceiling. She must have had help. There is no way she could have lifted those things to the ceiling, no matter how much grit she possesses. And what had she used? What kind of glue had Crockercorp come up with now?

 

“Good golly, I-” his whole body hits something and he jerks back. “What in the world?” He looks at the center of the room and watches it ripple. He also finds his shadow is suddenly being cast at chest height.

 

At first, he is simply confused before realization sets in and his heart goes back to normal. A smile spreads over his face as the awe and confusion fizzles away. 

 

“Oh you sneaky girl,” he says with delight. He pushes the large projection screen off to the side. It is large enough to span the entirety of the area, giving the illusion that the room really had been flipped.

 

“Alright, Jane!” he calls into the room. “You got me!”

 

“Happy All Fools Day, Jake,” comes behind the screen. Jake walks to the edge and pushes it aside. On the actual screen, he finds Jane visage being projected. She is beaming at him, headphones on her skull and other monitors half showing in the frame. Jake thinks he can catch a glimpse of Dirk’s safe-room.

 

“This was spectacular, you really had me going there for a bit. I thought the world had actually gone caddywompus.” 

 

Jane gives a small giggle. “I thought you would get a kick out of it. And don’t worry, I’ll be by later to help you take it all down.”

“Take it down!? I want to leave it up for Dirk to see!” 

 

“Alright. Just let me know when you want it removed. Have to go, Dirk’s about to find his prank!” 

 

“Please tell me you are recording these.”

 

“As if I would waste such a chance to show you your own surprised faces.” She gives him a wink. “I should be off now. Bye Jake!” She waves at the screen before it goes blank. Jake beams back at it before going back around the curtain and looking over Jane’s handiwork once more.

 

\----------------------------

 

Dirk slips into his safe room as slowly as possible. Unlike Jake’s private theater, his safe room actually has the possible function of being a safe room. There is junk food and pop stored inside, but there is also a lot of non-perishables, the walls are triple enforced, and he has enough water socked away to last him through another armageddon.

 

As soon as he shuts the door he feels safer. The only way to get inside is to know the code, and seeing as Jake doesn’t even know it, Dirk feels safe enough to let his guard down when the door beeps and he hears it lock.

 

“Sorry, Jane,” he says out loud before stretching and feeling his spine pop. “There will be no pranks for me.” He walks over to his little bar of snacks, the soda pop mostly consisting of orange crush with a smattering of other selections for any guests. He turns the cap on an orange beverage, hears the seal break, and takes a long swig of it. He then picks up one of his snack packs, a thing of Cheetos, and flops into one of the many comfortable chairs placed in front of the decent sized television. Just because the place is built for the end of the world doesn’t mean it can’t be comfortable.

 

Dirk tears open the bag, munches on a few of the puffed pieces of cheesy goodness, and then takes another swig of soda pop. He turns the television on and relaxes a bit while he lets time tick by. He keeps eating the Cheetos, drinking the pop and watches as his fingers and knuckles slowly start to collect a film of cheese dust. He waits until the bag is empty before licking them clean.

 

“Huh?” Dirk blinks as he catches sight of what should be a now cheese free hand, yet his fingers still look orange. He realizes that not only are the pads of his fingers are orange, but so are his fingernails. He sucks on them again, pulls them away, and finds that even more of the flesh looks orange.

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Dirk flash-steps from his chair to one of the few mirrors in the room. His lips are bright orange and so is the flesh of his chin. There are smears of orange on his cheeks as well and when he opens his mouth Dirk jolts. His teeth, tongue, gums, and even his uvula are bright orange.

 

Dirk shuts his mouth and looks over at his soda pop. The orange Crush hadn’t tasted any different, so how in the world had she done this? He turns back to the mirror and rubs at his mouth and watches as he only spreads the orange around. How the hell is he going to get it off? He grabs up a few paper towels, wets them in the sink nearby, and starts to scrub. The orange spreads.

 

“Happy All Fools Day, Dirk.” Jane’s voice comes from the computer in the corner. “You may want to stop doing that. Water and saliva makes the coloring spread.”

 

Dirk looks over at the smiling girl on the screen with a stony face. “How did you get in here?”

 

“Arquiriusprite of course,” Jane replies with a smile. “He knew exactly what you would use for the password.”

 

Dirk feels his brow furrow as he drops the wetted paper towels in the sink.

 

“Don’t be too mad with him, Dirk. He was just helping me start a new holiday.” Jane looks a bit sheepish as she says it.

 

“How did you turn me orange?” There is no anger in his voice, just curiosity because he knows that whatever Jane did there is a reversal for it. She wouldn’t leave him looking like an Oompa Loompa.

 

“Oh! It’s a color additive I put in your pop. Speaking of which, all of the ones in the front of the cooler have it.”

 

“How did you get it in there?” He goes over and picks up the Orange Crush bottle, looking for any sign of tampering.

 

“I used a needle and pushed it through the indent in the middle of the cap. All it took was a small amount of orange epoxy to make the cap look as good as new and keep the soda from going flat.”

 

“And the additive?”

 

“That took a while longer.” She grins at him. “But time is nothing when it means getting to see the surprise on my best chums’ faces.”

 

“Jane, I am thankful every day that you haven’t gone mad-scientist on us because none of us would be able to stop you.”

 

Jane gives a laugh. “That is quite the compliment coming from you, Dirk, though I have to get going. Roxy will be finding her prank here shortly and I don’t want to miss it!” 

 

“Alright, but how do I un-orange myself?”

 

“OH! Yes, right. I hid a tab can in with the rest of your canned sodas. It’s not actual Tab of course, but if you put it on a cloth and rub at your skin, the additive will come off. Swishing it in your mouth will remove it as well. Though, you could always give Jake a second prank today, if you know what I mean.” She gives a wink.

 

“Saucy as ever, Jane. Thanks for the heads up.”

 

“Bye, Dirk!” Her face disappears from the computer screen and Dirk shakes his head. He really needs to come up with some new passwords.

 

\---------------

 

“Okay, so just stay in here and you should be safe from anything Janey has cooked up,” Roxy tells Calliope as she stands with her in the bedroom.

 

“What about you?” Calliope asks as she holds Roxy’s hands. 

 

“I’m going to my hacking room. Knowing Janey, she’s got all my usual haunts boobie-trapped. So whatever you do, don’t touch my stuff today. You should be safe though since you didn’t get a message.”

 

“Do you want me to come with you?” 

 

“Nah, you go on and have a fun day. I’ll meet up with you as soon as it hits midnight. Jane is really good about not going past deadlines.” She pecks Calliope’s cheek. “See ya!”

 

Roxy turns and quickly jumps through her window portal, the coordinates already set for her hacking room. She is not about to chance the hallways. Her personal room puts her at ease with all of the computer bits spread out on the bench next to her rather large patchwork computer. It all shines dully in the half light from the windows, looking like diamonds in the rough. A grin spreads over her face.

 

“Let’s see if I can’t prank Janey back.” She goes and sits down in the computer chair. “Changing the Crockercorp website from red and white to purple and green should do it.” She pushes the power button and suddenly all hell breaks loose. The walls on both sides of her spring open as canons of chocolate and caramel shoot right into the chair. From the ceiling, sprinkles, cherries, and globs of whipped cream rain down as Roxy flails and falls. The onslaught lasts only a few moments, but by the end of it, Roxy is topped with more sugar than even her trickster self has ever rolled in.

 

She sits on the floor, covered in sweet goo, and starts to laugh.

 

“Janey! I know you’re watching and there better be a playback!” Roxy is grinning as she gets up. Jane’s face appears on the television near the actual door to the room.

 

“Of course,” she replies. “Are you enjoying your sunday?” 

 

“Hell yeah, I am!” Roxy throws a cherry into her mouth. “Though you do owe me a computer set up,” she says as she looks back at her electronics. There is a small pang of almost anger. Yeah, she had worked hard on it, but she had been babbling about making a new one. Jane had probably taken that into account before even creating the prank.

 

“Oh do I?” she asks with a smirk. “Why don’t you go give it a nibble.”

 

Roxy’s eyes widen before she turns back to her computer and the parts that are now covered in toppings. Tentatively, Roxy picks up her computer mouse. It looks like hers, clicks like hers, but when she pushes just a little harder than normal there is a crunch. She picks up the broken mouse button and pops it into her mouth. Chocolate explodes over her tongue.

 

“Holy shit, Jane. How!?”

 

“Lots of prep work,” she replies. “And don’t worry about the cleanup. I made sure to lay down a thin layer of our new plastic wrap on all of the surfaces that would be affected. I’ll be over later this evening to help pull it all up.”

 

“I get to keep the candy computer, though, right?”

 

“Of course! Your actual one is in the closet by the way, along with all the parts. What you see there are some very creative confections.” 

 

“Jane, you’re the best damn prankster,” Roxy replies before sucking some chocolate from the back of her hand. “Though I need to go get in the shower before I stick to the floor.”

 

“Calliope has a bath all ready for you,” Jane replies with a wink.

 

Roxy grins back. “Prank or no prank, you know how to show a girl a good time.”

 

“I’m glad you had fun, Roxy. I’ll be going now. Have a nice bath!” 

 

Roxy waves at the T.V. before getting up. She is ridiculously sticky and tasty, and she hopes Calliope will enjoy helping her get clean.

 

\------------------

 

Jane sits back at the computer terminal she had created just for today and smiles. All three friends have been pranked, all astounding successes to kick off the new All Fools Day. She would have to get their permission to post the videos, though. They will be good examples to show everyone that pranks can be funny and safe for both parties.

 

“Alright, one more,” she says as she raises her arms to stretch. Getting up, she heads to the kitchen. The room smells delicious with the scent of peaches. Jane looks inside the oven at the ‘cake’ she has set to bake. It looks like a cake, will smell like a plain white cake, but when cut into Calliope will reveal a homemade peach cobbler under a cakelike shell. “Best to start Calliope off small,” Jane reminds herself before opening the fridge. 

 

The pie hits her square in the face.

 

Jane sputters a bit as she pulls back, her hands quickly coming up to take off her cream covered glasses. Jane looks in surprise at the spring-loaded pie made of nothing but whipped cream in a regular aluminum pie tin. 

 

 _Happy All Fools Day, Jane_ is scrawled on a note just inside the fridge. Jane realizes quite easily that it is Calliope’s handwriting.

 

Jane grins. She wonders if she has enough time to add something to the cake.


End file.
